Review: But I Love Him - Amanda Grace

Where I got it: Library

Rating: 3.5 stars  

Cover Rating: 5 stars (Beautiful and completely relevant.)
Genre: Young Adult

Publication Date: May 8, 2011

Publisher: Flux

Page Count: 252 p.

Buy it: Book Depository / Amazon

Ann had her whole life ahead of her. She had a great track career and a best friend. She had college applications coming up and a whole lifetime of opportunity. Then she met Connor. Ann isn't sure quite when it happens, it was no one point in time. Slowly she gives up sports, friends, fun, future and happiness. But she's happy when she's with him. He's all she wants—he's all she has.

I didn't fall in love with the format of this story. I am still a bit unhappy with the whole thing being told backwards, with flashes of present day interspersed. I like the flashes, but I didn't life going backwards. It was just hard for me to keep the chain of events in my mind in order. It is weird watching domestic violence de-escalate. It lends to a happier ending though. Because instead of things getting worse and worse, they start terrible and go back to the way things were before. I really loved how Ann was presented. When you fall in love in high school, that relationship often consumes your life, and you slack on other aspects of yourself. Add that with a boyfriend who is possessive, and Ann found herself alone. It's easy to not really noticing it happening, especially when it's not all bad. It was interesting having to wait to find out about events that had been alluded to as already having happened. This novel does allow some sympathy for Connor and it is terrible to have grown up as he did. It struck me as odd, that Ann had this bit of anger at Connor's mom for not leaving her abusive husband, but then she stays with Connor even though he's violent. It goes to show that sometimes it'd hard seeing things from up close. I think this is a great resource for teens, maybe someone can give it to a friend that really needs her eyes open. Ann's friend, Abby, tried to warn her about the danger she was getting into, how she was falling away from everything. Ann didn't want to hear it though. Maybe if she read a book like this, she would see some of the signs and similarities and maybe would have gotten out earlier. Definitely a good and intense read. Check it out soon.

First Line:
"I lie in pieces on the floor."

Favorite Line:
"I want to stay up here all night and count every twinkling light downtown, and I want it to never end."

Review: Blood Wounds - Susan Beth Pfeffer

Where I got it: Library

Rating: 4.5 stars  

Cover Rating: 4 stars (That girl is pretty terrifying.)
Genre: Young Adult

Publication Date: September 13, 2011

Publisher: Harcourt Children's Books

Page Count: 248 p.

Buy it: Book Depository / Amazon

Happy families are not all the same, they're just better at faking it. Happy families hide the anger and resentment right below the surface, waiting for it to boil over.
Willa has a happy family. She has a stepfather and sisters, but they are all happy and love each other. Everything seems fine, until Willa's real father murders his family and comes for her. She doesn't really remember him and didn't know he had little girls, didn't know she had half sisters. Willa decides that she has to go to where her parents came from and mourn those little girls. She has to find her roots, what she's made of. Even her happy family isn't enough for Willa until she can go dig in the past and find out the truth about her life that she's forgotten.

This book took me in so many directions. I thought the manhunt would last a lot longer than a few pages. Susan Beth Pfeffer did an excellent job with the pacing of this novel though. I was hooked from the very first sentence, and didn't stop reading until the story was over. Each character was so perfectly crafted. I could picture each one of them clear as day and even overheard their voices while they conversed. Willa was an odd character in this novel. Not really belonging any where she went. That's mostly the reason she went back to where she was born, to figure out who she was and where she might fit in. She knows so little about her and her mother's lives before the stepfamily. Her mother keeps so many secrets under the guise of protecting Willa, but she really is just protecting herself. Willa is a very strong girl though, and it was a pleasure to watch her on her journey to finding out what she wants and how she feels. At times she did show some weakness(cutting) but I still feel like she was so solid, and this was a logical way for her to feel some relief.  Sometimes people can become content with their lives so they never really notice when they don't have all the things they want. Cracks started showing in Willa's contentment though, before her father even came into the picture. Little things, like voice lessons and plane tickets, started wearing away at Willa's supposed happiness. Every family has flaws. Even if everyone is actually happy, there are always moments when things aren't perfect. This novel explores those flaws and what it means to be a family. Willa is faced with a lot, she has blood relatives that seem like bad eggs and step relatives that seem sweet as a peach. Both sides have flaws though, and Willa is a combination of all the good in the bad of both sides. Blood is one thing, but family is another.

First Line:
"I think even if nothing had happened the next day, even if my life had stayed just as it was the night at supper, I'd still remember what Jack said."

Favorite Line:
"It was a damp gray day, but there was a gentle spring breeze that spoke of better times."

Review: Bitter End - Jennifer Brown

Where I got it: ARC for review from publisher

Rating: 5 stars

Cover Rating: 4 stars (It's very emotive which I appreciate. I also love the poem etched over and over at the bottom.)

Genre: Young Adult

Publication Date: May 10, 2011

Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

Page Count: 354 p.

There's a charming and handsome new boy, Cole,  at school and Alex is instantly crushing on him. Cool thing is, he seems to like her too. Alex and her two friends, Zack and Beth have been super close since forever. They have been planning a road-trip to Colorado to help Alex feel closer to her dead mother. With Cole in the picture though, Alex's friendships fall to the wayside. When he first starts hurting her, Alex pushes her friends away, reasoning that they set him off. After a while of playing it safe all the time though, Alex can't keep ignoring the put-downs and pinches. She knows she has to make a decision but she's not sure what choice she can actually make.

Whoa. I have not yet read Hate List, but now I know I have to. Absolutely have to. This novel was wonderfully written and completely devastating. Each character played their role perfectly and completely. Alex was such a genuine character. I'm sure some people will roll their eyes when they read about her staying in an abusive relationship. I didn't. She acknowledged the fact that something was wrong, eventually. It's hard to take a step back and really look at someone when you are that close to them. Even if you do know that they aren't the greatest, there are so many things that make people stay. I think Jennifer Brown did an incredible job highlighting a lot of the reasons that Alex found it so hard to break away.

I really wish this book was published when I was still in high school. I mean there was Dreamland, but this one is so much more accessible. I was in an abusive relationship, and had moved in with him when I was a Senior. It was really hard to get out, because I was scared and I couldn't really support myself alone(or so I thought). I think this book has the potential to help a lot of girls or even guys in similar situations. Guys are often abused in relationship too, and people sometimes forget that. This book dealt with so many of the emotions and thoughts that can go through an abused persons' head. The feeling of not wanting to be "that girl whose boyfriend beat her" or the "victim" or "that girl who stayed with the guy who hit her". There are so many negative reactions to people who stay in abusive relationships, but everyone has a reason. A lot of people just need someone there to help them. In abusive relationships however, these people can be hard to come by since often times the abused is driven to isolation.

I really appreciated Alex's friends, even if it was really hard to keep being her friend after Cole. Zack at least was still 100% there for her even if Alex didn't like it. Friends like Zack are the reason that Alex could get out of the relationship. Alex's boss, Georgia, was a great support to Alex too. I liked that she had the motherly/friend feel to her. Those are always great people to have around and be around. I will certainly be bumping Hate List up on my list as well as eagerly anticipating a new novel by this fantastic author. This book was wholly accurate and incredibly well-written. Though it may be hard for many people to read in all its realism, I think this book is a must read.

First Line:
"If I had to describe my best friend, Bethany, in one word, it would be persistent."

Favorite Line:
"'I love you,' I whispered into the fabric of his shirt."   

Review: The Chosen One - Carol Lynch Williams

Where I got it: Library

Rating: 5 stars

Cover Rating: 5 stars (Plain but fitting)

Genre: Young Adult

Publication Date: August 31, 2010

Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin

Page Count: 213 p.

Kyra's family is part of the Chosen Ones, a polygamist cult. Kyra and her family except the way life is with their new leader. Maybe they can't leave the compound freely anymore, maybe some people have been killed and they had to burn all the books they own. Life is still good though, they are still happy to be going to God's kingdom. That is until The Prophet converses with God and decides the Kyra is to marry her uncle, who is quite a few decades older than her. Kyra's father goes to the Prophet to dispute this, but it is done. Kyra fears this is due to her sins. She has been sneaking out and seeing and kissing a boy, she has been hiding books to read, and she has been saying terrible things about killing the Prophet. Kyra knows there is no way she can go through with the marriage, no way she can face becoming her uncle's seventh wife. She knows she has to run away, or do something, but how? Who is willing to help her escape?

Well, one thing is for sure, Carol Lynch Williams does not know how to write a happy story. ;) This was beautifully written though and completely heartbreaking. This is her first novel, but the second one I've read. Like Glimpse, this details the struggle of a girl growing up in an unwanted situation. The isolation that Kyra and her family face living on the compound makes this book all the more intense. I personally have ver been in a polygamist cult, or a much similar situation, but I could feel every heartache as Kyra's as I hung on her every move, every word. This was a fascinating and gut-wrenching read that you would do yourself a favor by reading. If you cannot handle being depressed and horrified however, please pass this book by. I appreciate Carol Lynch William's knack for writing just the right endings. They are hopeful, but not overly positive. They are happy without being unrealistic. It's sad that there are no super happy endings, but it's how life often happens.

First Line:

"'If I was going to kill the Prophet,' I say, not even keeping my voice low, 'I'd do it in Africa.'"

Favorite Line:

"Outside the sky has gone all dark except for the half-moon."

Review: Because I Am Furniture - Thalia Chaltas

Where I got it: Library
Rating:  3.5 stars
Cover Rating: 4 stars (Interesting, I like the cut-out)
Genre: Young Adult
Publication Date: April 16, 2009
Publisher: Viking Juvenile
Page Count: 368 p.

Anke's father abuses her brother and sister, but he never touches her. Behind his back Anke tries out for volley ball at school. She makes the team and learns volleyball along with many other things. She learns how to step up and be heard. She learns it's up to her to make her father stop.

This was a very fast read since it was written in prose poetry. It was a tale of such horribly epic proportions, but offered hopeful empowerment. I enjoyed the little snippets of volleyball a lot. It reminded me of when I played in high school and how thrilling it was and how pumped you could get. Anke feels jealous that her father chooses to abuse her siblings, because at least they get his attention. This is an emotion that is completely justified, though a little strange from the outside looking in. This book was heartbreaking but has such a powerful message that may help people in similar situations. Sometimes it's easy to loose hope and you will to be heard. This book tells of how Anke finds the voice she needs to make sure she's not just another piece of furniture.

First Line:
"I am always there."

Favorite Line:
"I grimace guilty apologies."